Unspoken Pleasure

Violet missed her classes for the next two days because she was sick. Whether it was the side effects of the morning after pill, or the stress from everything that happened, she spent most of those days in bed feeling awful. Not so awful that she didn't watch that horrible recording while she played with her clit though. It was the most erotic and terrible thing she had ever seen. It was a sex tape of her, being fucked against her will, and she only had the dimmest memories of it actually happening. That made it a digital out of body experience, and as unhealthy as she knew it was to dwell on this event, she couldn't put it down. She tried to delete it a dozen times, but she was weak, and so she watched it again instead. She told herself that if she deleted it, she'd just have to beg James for another copy, and there was no way she'd ever be able to look herself in the mirror again after that. It was the same reason she couldn't bring herself to call the police... because even if she did everyone else would see her as the little victim girl, and eventually that was how she would see herself too.

Wednesday she finally returned to her classes. It was a constant battle between an inability to focus on anything her teachers were saying because none of it really mattered and trying to ignore the knowing looks and snickers some of the male students in her class gave her. What did they know? Was she imagining it? Were they even looking at her? It was impossible to say, and she had no confidence in her ability to judge these things right now; maybe she never would again, she thought. She'd watched the video enough to have a good idea of the men that did this to her, so she could confidently say that someone didn't look like anyone on that tape, but she wasn't sure that she could identify the identity of her actual assailants. Later that day the question was resolved as she finally came face to face with the man that violated her in class on the rules of evidence.

"Violet, right?" he smiled, sitting down next to her a few minutes before the class started, "I'm Thomas, we met at the party the other night?" He laughed "You might not remember though. You were pretty hammered. Me and James brought you home."noveldrama

Smug bastard, Violet thought, using the thread of rage inside her to fight her urge to run or hyperventilate. She held it all down and forced a smile, trying not to make a scene. Let him think she didn't know. Let him think that he was getting one over on him. She knew his name, she knew his face, and she had the evidence to do something about it. When the time was right... except she didn't, did she? Nothing on that tape made it look anything but consensual - she looked like a horny little whore, and the whole thing seemed to be just a drunken college hookup. When the time came it would be just and another case of he said she said, and she would be... She realized he was looking at her expectantly. She'd missed something.

"I said," he repeated, smiling, "Maybe the three of us could go out again sometime. I'll bet you're even more fun when you're only a little drunk."

Violet opened her mouth again to tell him off, feeling the anger rising inside so quickly that it colored her cheeks. She was only saved from the embarrassment of that outburst in front of everyone only by the professor entering the room. She cleared her throat and turned away, fixing her eyes on the whiteboard and pretending to pay attention, but the only thing she heard was the sound of her heart pounding in her ears. She spent the rest of the day fuming about his brazenness and learning what classes he was in with her, so she could avoid them, or at least make sure she sat down far from him just before the bell to avoid a repeat of today.

Wednesday after class, James sent her some flowers and a get well soon card, which she thought was both vaguely sweet and profoundly creepy. She couldn't bring herself to get quite as worked up about him as she could about Thomas. Taking her... raping her like that was so much more honest than taking advantage of a girl so drunk she couldn't remember her own name; that was cowardly, despicable behavior. But Violet decided to keep the bundle of flowers on her table, looking at them from time to time as she tried to sort through her own emotional turmoil. In the end, all she could decide is that while she loathed Thomas and the other two mystery men, her feelings towards James were... complicated. Thursday and Friday she managed to avoid all the evil in her life, and finally feel almost normal. That is until James appeared after class on Friday, lounging on the stairs of her dorm as she went to enter. "Lovely evening isn't it Violet," he said, smiling, not a care in the world.

She stopped, crossing her arms, wishing she had a way to avoid him and get back to her room where she could hide for the weekend. "You said, you'd leave me alone for a week," she said defensively, "I haven't even gotten... nevermind" she said, realizing she didn't owe her rapist an explanation. "What do you want?"

"Me?" he feigned shock, "Why I just wanted to check on you. You know how concerned I've been. I hope you got my flowers."

"I did," she said, finding it hard to hold out to her outrage under such unfailing politeness. "I haven't even thrown them away."

"I never thought you would." he assured her. "You seem to be back to normal pretty quickly. Faster than I would have thought. You're a strong girl."

Violet blushed prettily at the compliment, chastising herself at the impulse. This was her rapist, not a man to enjoy the compliments of. "Sure. Thanks," she demurred, "But none of that tells me what you're doing here."

"True," he countered, "But I didn't think you'd want to talk about that here, maybe we should go up to your room or go for a walk."

"No, you're not going up to my room," she countered too quickly, making him smile at the psychological victory. She was afraid of him. "Let's go for a walk."

James gave a mock bow, and followed her as they walked to the park just across the way. There were still enough students around to make her feel safe, but they were far enough away that they wouldn't hear every word they said. For a time they just walked in silence, until James finally spoke. "You're not any safer here than your room, you know. You need to get that through your head, you'll never be safe from me. Never."

"You're wrong," Violet said confidently, "If you tried anything I'd..." And that was all she got out before James quickly stepped into her space, grabbed her by the throat, and pinned her to a tree just off the path.

"You'll what?" James asked with a predatory grin. "You'll scream? You'll struggle? You'll make a scene? Well. Go on. Show me just how much you'd fight to keep me from doing terrible things to you."

Violet wished she could say that she tried to do those things, but his grip on her throat was too tight and she couldn't get a sound out... but in reality, she crumbled beneath his confidence. She was too afraid to do any of that, and he knew it.

She just stared at him with all the fear of a frightened animal. She was no more capable of fighting him off than a rabbit was capable of fighting a hungry wolf. If run and hide both failed then the only option left was to be devoured.